Put It Into Practice
Purity is much more than refraining from sex or heeding a list of “don’ts.” It is a positive, passionate existence that frees us to experience what God made us to enjoy. Sadly, our culture bombards kids with opportunities to tarnish their lives, even making fun of those who try to remain separate. So how can you help your teen go against the norm and live a life filled with the joys of purity?
Step One: Clarify the Standard
Psalm 119:9 says, “How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word.” While Jesus Christ was the only person to live a life of total purity, He invites us to follow His example by fulfilling the purpose for which we were made. When it comes to purity, our children need to understand that their bodies belong to God first and to their future spouse second. 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 says, “Flee from sexual immorality… your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you… You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8 is another great passage to walk through with your teen, explaining God’s heart behind purity, and providing practical reminders for fighting sexual temptation.
Step Two: Focus on Purity, Not Just Sex
It is vital to emphasize remaining a virgin before marriage. But purity is much more than saying “no” to premarital sex. There is a current trend in teen culture to define purity as not “going all the way,” while anything else is considered fair game. God desires for us to have much more than “technical virginity” before marriage. He has a great plan for our hearts, minds, and actions. Teach your child that purity involves every area of life.
Step Three: Give a Positive Vision
Give a positive vision of the purpose and joy of sex in the context of marriage. Nothing gives a child a positive view of God’s design for passion like basking in the love of parents who cherish one another and speak positively about the joys of marital intimacy.
Step Four: Delay Temptation
God made us with desires that are very good. But those desires can be awakened too early, so talk to your child about purity before allowing them to date, and continue dialogue after they start the process. The topic can be awkward, so try to make the experience comfortable. That could mean scheduling a regular coffee date, or it might look like chatting while hunting, or attending a sports event. Find some context for keeping the lines of communication open.
Step Five: Pray for Them
Commit yourself as a parent to cover your child in prayer. Pray specifically for his or her purity in relationships, a clean thought-life, integrity in school and other activities. Pray for a heart that is connected to Christ and a mind immersed in God’s Word.
